


Just Me and the Stars Can Get Lonely

by lululawrence



Series: I Go Down Blazing, Feeling Like I'm Going Crazy [1]
Category: Golf RPF, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Anxiety, Based on Dear Patience, Clubbing, Dancing, Famous Niall Horan, Famous Rory Mcilroy, Flirting, Friends to Lovers, Heartbreak Weather Fic Fest, It is Rory McIlroy after all, Light Angst, M/M, Mentions of Golf, No Smut, OT5 Friendship (One Direction), Pining, Singer Niall Horan, Song fic, and i feel like that's what this is, famous/famous, kind of, like i saw a tag the other day that said diet angst, you see it a little bit and it makes me happy so it's tagged haha
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-14
Updated: 2020-10-14
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:27:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26959528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lululawrence/pseuds/lululawrence
Summary: Niall had positioned himself right at the tee for the seventh, sending his feelings of hope and excitement to his soulmate. As Rory stepped up with the driver he’d accepted from his caddy, Niall made sure to send all of his surroundings to his soulmate.Everyone was quiet and Rory seemed to pause for a moment while placing his ball on the tee. Once he’d done so, though, he flicked his eyes towards the crowd. It almost felt like he was looking right at Niall. He didn’t know how it could be possible for Rory to know where he stood, but that quick glance was enough for Niall to know that he would do well on this hole.As soon as he hit the ball, Niall knew, and so did Rory. It was a good shot. It was the perfect drive to share with his soulmate, and he was glad he’d thought to do it.Or the soulmates AU where Niall won't know who his soulmate is until his twenty-first birthday, but becoming friends with Rory McIlroy is a great distraction while he navigates fame and does his best to be patient.
Relationships: Niall Horan/Rory Mcilroy
Series: I Go Down Blazing, Feeling Like I'm Going Crazy [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1967344
Comments: 6
Kudos: 18
Collections: Heartbreak Weather Fic Fest





	Just Me and the Stars Can Get Lonely

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LadyLondonderry](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyLondonderry/gifts).



> This fic was written for the [Heartbreak Weather Fic Fest](https://heartbreakweatherficfest.tumblr.com//). Make sure you check out all the other great fics in the collection which can be found [here](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/HeartbreakWeatherFicFest//)!
> 
> I'm so happy to finally be able to post this fic! The basic idea struck me in the spring when I mentioned how it could be a great idea for a soulmates fic and [Emmu](https://londonfoginacup.tumblr.com) said, "NORY soulmates???" This was before sign ups even opened and I knew then I had to have Dear Patience. As time went on and the idea developed further, I knew I needed to have Bend the Rules as well, because there were two sides to the story and both needed to be told. It slowly grew and developed and became this glorious mess that hopefully has been translated to the page in an interesting and fun way for you to read. And Emmu? This fic is absolutely for you. Thank you.
> 
> I couldn't have done this without my betas (and golf picker), [Lynda](https://wait4ever.tumblr.com) and [Molly](https://becomeawendybird.tumblr.com) as well as my Brit pick (despite the fact the two main characters are Irish lol) [KK](https://dinosaursmate.tumblr.com). Any remaining mistakes are mine and only mine.
> 
> Please note this is part 1 of 2, part 2 will post tomorrow, also with the fest. Because of that, this fic does have a very open ending because it is all resolved in part 2. I hope that, even with that in mind, you'll keep reading and give my fic a try.
> 
> This is a work of fiction and my own words. Please do not repost or translate it without my express permission. Thank you!

Niall looked around the room and sighed in relief. He didn’t even know why he was so nervous about being there, probably because Bressie had been talking up the London Irish Crew for a while now and Niall looked up to a number of people who could potentially be there. At least he’d found Bressie easily enough.

“Bressie!” 

How Niall got here, he’d never know. It still felt a bit like a fever dream, everything that had happened since his ridiculous audition for the X Factor. It had been two years since then and he was doing pretty damn well for himself, but he still felt like a fish out of water. 

He was constantly sending a torrent of emotions and allowing his soulmate peeks into the insanity that his life had become, and now was no exception. He wanted his soulmate to be a part of it with him, even if they hadn’t met yet. Niall kind of hoped it would help his soulmate find him sooner. If his soulmate knew who and where he was, what he was doing, he figured it couldn’t hurt. 

His soulmate never once responded to him, but Niall wasn’t deterred. He knew he was there. He could feel his presence behind the dark wall that seemed to block their connection on his soulmate’s side. He knew that their connection would be stronger as soon as Niall turned twenty-one as well, and he couldn’t wait to figure out who he was and seek him out. Find a man who was hopefully as dedicated to the idea of being partners as he was.

“Hey,” Bressie said loudly, walking to him from where he’d been seated at a large grouping of tables to the side of the pub. “Glad you could make it. I know your schedule’s fucked.” 

Bressie pulled him into a hug, complete with clapping each other on the back, and Niall laughed. 

“It’s always fucked, but I’m glad I had the night free when you had this planned.”

“Everyone,” Bressie said, arm around Niall’s shoulder as he turned the two of them towards the LIC, “here’s the wonderkid himself. Finally decided to come join his fellow displaced countrymen!” 

Niall tried not to choke on his tongue when he looked around and saw what felt like a who’s who of Irish celebrities who happened to call London home. There were sportsmen, actors, singers, and then there was Niall. Some eighteen year old kid who was starting to be famous enough that it made him nervous to leave the house sometimes. 

“Take a seat, first round's on me,” Bressie said with a smile. 

Niall found an empty seat near the end of the group between a wiry guy whose ears looked too big for his head and one of Bressie’s mates, Sean. 

“Hey, Ni,” Sean greeted as he patted Niall on the back. “You met Rory yet?”

“Uh, no,” Niall said, trying to get comfortable quickly so he could turn and introduce himself to the man who looked slightly familiar, now that Niall got a second look. “Hey, I’m Niall.”

“Rory McIlroy,” Rory said with a tense smile, holding his hand out. 

It was strange. Rory looked incredibly nervous, but Niall thought it should definitely be the other way around. He knew exactly who Rory was now that he said his full name. He just wasn’t used to seeing him outside of a hat and polo shirt on the golf course. 

“Oh, yeah, I know you,” Niall said, excited to meet the man and talk golf with him. Golf was definitely his other passion in life beside music. 

Rory’s eyes widened in shock for a moment, but Niall just laughed. 

“Yeah, you’re making a name for yourself, aren’t you? Holding steady, high up in the world standings,” Niall said, leaning back in his seat and shaking his head. “And as young as you are too. Right impressive, mate.”

Rory’s cheeks turned pink and he forced out a laugh. “Oh, right, yeah. Just a bit of luck, really.”

Niall snorted. “Sure. Luck is what I’d need if I were to go against you and have a hope of holding my own. You’re gearing up to be a favourite at the Masters!”

Rory was so red at this point that Niall almost felt bad for him, but the guy really was that good at golf. It was going to be his fourth year at the tournament and his name was being batted around with Tiger Woods’ for possible winners. How was he sitting there, sputtering into his light lager all because Niall was reciting some facts?

Before Niall could say anything else, Bressie came back to the table and set down two pints of Guinness in front of him. 

“You’re behind. See if you can catch up,” Bressie said with a wink before walking back to where his own seat was.

Niall shook his head but did as he was told, taking a long pull. “Fuck, there’s something really great about a fresh Guinness on tap, isn’t there?”

Rory finally laughed a little, looking just the slightest bit more comfortable with Niall. “Not really my favourite, I’m afraid. Too stout for my liking.”

Niall shrugged. “That’s fine. We’ll switch to cider later and maybe then I can get you to loosen up a little bit.”

Rory’s jaw dropped and his blush finally receded enough that Niall had a clear view of the freckles that dotted his face. He wondered if they faded in winter or when he had more time at home versus when he was in the middle of a tour with all that time in the sun.

“Oh, I’ll have you know I can hold my cider quite well and you’ll be fighting to get me under the table, lad,” Rory said, his eyes sparkling and smile wide.

There he was. Niall knew he could get him to banter if he tried hard enough. It was a skill of his to put people at ease around him, even if he himself was nervous to be there in the first place. He was glad it worked even on the likes of one of his favourite golfers. Hopefully it would work on his soulmate, too. Or maybe he wouldn’t even need it with his soulmate. They might get on right away and he wouldn’t need to make use of that particular skill. He would just have to wait and find out, he supposed.

“Yeah?” Niall asked, licking his lips and leaning into Rory’s space. “I guess I should finish these so I can test you on that, then.”

Rory nodded and took a long pull of his own beer before waggling his eyebrows a bit at him. “I guess you should.”

*~~***~~*

Niall didn’t have much control over his life at the moment. Between the demands from his record label, promotional appearances that were obviously a requirement in order to keep peddling his music, and then the demanding touring itself, Niall had a lot of weight to shoulder with regards to keeping his career going as it had been. 

It was worth it, though. At least so far it had been. He had never been as happy as he was out on the road, performing his songs for the crowds that were there just for him.

Even with that, though, he wanted more breaks than he’d had so far. When he first started becoming successful with his music, he’d thought he would have more time to himself, time in which he hoped that he would get to meet his soulmate. He’d always wondered if he would know his soulmate when he first met them. 

About the only thing he knew about his soulmate was that he was a man. Several years ago, he’d seen a brief glimpse of excruciating pain that his soulmate had likely accidentally sent through, and that had been enough for him to know that single piece of information. Otherwise, he was flying blind. 

Sometimes he wondered if he had passed him on the street, his soulmate knowing the whole time that they were destined for each other while he didn’t have a clue. 

It had become clear to Niall very quickly that he wouldn’t be so lucky as to have much time to rest and relax whilst working. If he wasn’t touring, he was writing or recording. If he wasn’t doing either of those, he was probably promoting or scheduling or any number of other things. He’d worked hard and fought harder than he had before, though, and he finally had got exactly what he’d wanted. 

He had only been able to get one break on his current tour, but it didn’t matter. The one week was timed perfectly so he could attend the Masters Tournament. It had been his dream to be able to be present in Augusta possibly even longer than making music professionally had been. He never thought he’d be having to schedule a world tour around the tournament in order to fit it in eventually, but here he was. Living two dreams at once. Life was crazy sometimes.

It would be a lot better if one of his newfound mates wasn’t having such a hard time, though.

Niall had no idea what the issue was, because going into the tournament he had been following Rory closely, and the man had been on fire. Sure, the season hadn’t been going for very long and everything he’d played in had been fairly minor when it came to overall standings, but Rory had hardly missed a putt and he had almost a sixth sense when it came to how to combat the wind and other environmental factors to ensure that he made the best shot possible almost every drive.

The past several days Rory had been playing horribly, though. Niall had been sweating a bit, worried he wasn’t even going to make the cut to continue into the weekend, but he’d just squeaked through. 

Based on the fact he hadn’t taken any of Niall’s calls and had barely replied to his texts, Niall knew he was taking it hard and beating himself up about it. It was times like these that Niall really wished his soulmate would at least let a crack of his own feelings through, though more would be helpful. He wanted so badly to explain his concern over Rory to him and get some advice back on how he could help and possibly make it better.

He was at a loss, though. Rory wasn’t answering and Niall didn’t feel like he knew him well enough after only knowing each other a month to just show up at his hotel room to see if he needed someone to talk to. Plus, maybe Rory didn’t want to talk at all, and that was why he wasn’t answering his phone now.

Niall was about to just go to sleep in the hope he could get up early and maybe maneuvre himself into a decent placement to be able to move around the course and catch Rory playing at a few different holes. He’d been plotting out his hopes with his security team and they’d agreed to his plans and them staying at a distance.

After a moment, Niall realised he hadn’t reached out to his soulmate even once since the tournament started on Thursday, and here it was Saturday night. He’d been so focused on Rory that he hadn’t thought of him other than his passing consideration of asking them for advice.

Niall finished the strict facial regime his makeup artist had requested he keep up even while on break and then climbed into bed. He closed his eyes and sighed a bit, sending out a fairly general feeling of contentment. He wasn’t sure what more to do right now, but maybe he’d try to send views of the tournament to him tomorrow. That would be much more exciting than a glimpse of his dark hotel room.

The following morning, Niall did exactly that. Rory had been playing even worse than the previous three days and had already got three bogeys in the first six holes. Niall had positioned himself right at the tee for the seventh, though, and was already sending his feelings of hope and excitement to his soulmate. As Rory stepped up with the driver he’d accepted from his caddy, Niall made sure to send all of his surroundings to his soulmate. 

Everyone was quiet, the air tense with excitement over how he’d do, and Rory seemed to pause for a moment while placing his ball on the tee. Once he’d done so, though, he looked even more focused than he had been all day, flicking his eyes towards the crowd. It almost felt like he was looking right at Niall. He didn’t know how it could be possible for Rory to know where he stood, but it really felt like he did and just that quick glance was enough for Niall to know that he would do well on this hole.

As soon as he hit the ball, Niall couldn’t help cheering just as loud as everyone else around him, because he knew. It was a good shot. And so did Rory, based on how his shoulders relaxed for the first time Niall had been watching him that tournament.

It was the perfect drive to share with his soulmate, and he was glad he’d thought to do it.

Rory himself seemed to improve after that as well. He played the best round he had all tournament, even though it still only brought him up to tying with Tiger Woods for 40th place in the end. Niall was proud of him for continuing to fight through it all, and he knew that Rory was as well, if only because he accepted Niall’s hug and the promise of a beer as soon as Rory’s obligations were done for the day.

It was all Niall wanted. To know that Rory was alright despite the frustration of the weekend, and to share a part of such an exciting weekend with his soulmate. 

*~~***~~*

“What do you mean you can’t make my birthday party?” Niall practically yelled at his phone. It was sitting on top of the dresser on the other side of the hotel room with the speakerphone turned on, which only made Niall feel all that much more ridiculous. 

Niall was hectically packing because he’d slept through his alarm and was currently running late for his flight to Chicago. It was imperative he make the flight, or he would miss not only an important interview with the top radio station in the area but also possibly his sound check for that night’s show.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t do it.” Rory’s voice was tinny through the speakers of Niall’s phone, but he could still hear the exhaustion in his voice. 

He knew that Rory had had a rough season and had a lot of expectations on his shoulders, but Niall had really been looking forward to the weekend. He was finally able to celebrate his birthday on an off day between gigs and Rory had meant to fly in to Chicago to celebrate with him and some other members of Niall’s band and crew. Clearly that was changing.

Niall kept waiting for Rory to give him more of an explanation other than he couldn’t make it, but he remained silent. 

Rolling his eyes in frustration, Niall zipped up his bag and walked over to his phone, picking it up just as another knock sounded as his door, reminding him he needed to hurry.

“Fine, whatever, mate. I’ll see you around.”

Niall hung up quickly and grabbed his bag when the knocking sounded again, accompanied by a shout from John, his security guard. 

“Oh, good. You decided to join us.”

“Fuck off, it’s been a day already,” Niall spat, taking off towards the lifts. He jabbed his finger at the button a few times, just for good measure. And because it felt good to be able to do something to get his frustration out.

“You do realise it’s only eight in the morning,” John said casually from behind him. 

Niall ignored him and continued watching the numbers above the lifts change in the hope it would somehow speed them up.

“That’s an awful lot of day left to be had and you’re already calling it shitty?”

“I said to fuck off,” Niall said with a sigh. Rubbing his eyes, he couldn’t help but let out a groan. “I haven’t slept well in days, it’ll be my third day in a row with a gig, it’s my birthday weekend, and it turns out Rory can’t make it. So yeah, it could be a whole lot worse, but I’m going to go ahead and be a bit pissed off at the moment anyway, alright?”

John raised his hands as he whistled a little, but otherwise said nothing.

Finally.

Niall got a bit of a nap on the flight to Chicago, but it didn’t really help. He was able to smile and charm his way through the interview and appease some of the fan’s requests for photos and autographs outside the radio station, but all the questions about his soulmate in the interview as well as some of the yelling and signs from the fans put him in even more of a sour mood.

He hated when he got like this, but he couldn’t help it. He’d always wanted the full access to his soulmate that their bond had the potential to allow and he didn’t fully understand why they were meant to wait until both soulmates in the bond were twenty-one. Sure, he understood the basic idea, but all the societal norms that revolved around keeping the bond closed until then frustrated him. How much easier could certain points in their life be if they had the support and love of their soulmate for it? 

So some, like Niall, didn’t wait. They went ahead and sent everything they could out to their soulmate, and sometimes the soulmates responded in kind. They were the lucky ones.

Niall obviously wasn’t. He went ahead and kept his bond closed for today, though. No need to shove all his negative emotions at a soulmate who wasn’t going to try to reciprocate in any way, particularly when it would likely affect their mood as well. He wasn’t cruel. But having the reminder that he still had another two years to wait before learning who his soulmate was and being able to start the search for them was frustrating as hell.

He was in the middle of his pity party for one when his phone started vibrating with a phone call. He assumed it was his manager calling with instructions of what was to come at the arena, but he was pleased to see it was Louis calling him instead.

He and Louis had met each other during the X Factor. They’d forged a quick friendship along with three others, Liam, Zayn, and Harry. Louis and Harry were soulmates who hadn’t followed the rules and met at the X Factor on purpose. They were now engaged and planning to be married next year, while Liam and Zayn had some sort of complicated on-again off-again relationship that Niall would never understand and they probably wouldn’t either until their soulmate bond was open. They were a pretty solid group after the past two years, and seeing Louis’ face on his phone was the first thing to make him truly smile all day.

“Heyyyyyy, Louis!” Niall answered, definitely too loud for being inside a car, but his team was used to that from him by now. “What’s up with you?”

“Heya, Nialler,” Louis responded, and Niall could hear the smile on his face. Fuck, he missed his friends. “Ready to celebrate your birthday?”

Niall blew air out through his lips so even Louis could hear the sound. “I mean, yeah. But Rory was the only one who was gonna be able to make it this year, and he just called to cancel, so I’m a bit bummed, to be honest.”

“Oh, that’s shit, mate. Sorry to hear it,” Louis said. 

There was mumbling Niall could hear in the background that likely belonged to Harry, so Niall said, “Hey, Harry! Miss you too!”

There was static over the line as the phone probably shifted hands and then Harry’s lower voice took over.

“Ni, how you doing? Finding any time to golf?”

Niall chuckled, leaning his head against the window. “I wish. Barely have time to sleep, much less golf right now. Rory promised me some time using his nice, fancy equipment during a few of the days I have off after tour, though.”

“That sounds nice.” Harry’s slow cadence always had a way of seeping into Niall and unwinding him. He hadn’t even said much, and already Niall was feeling his anger dissipate. “So what are you going to do to celebrate your birthday since Rory isn’t going to be around?”

“Ah, same as we were going to do with him, probably,” Niall said with a chuckle. “Party with whoever on the crew is free and willing. Maybe go to a club or something. Get well smashed.”

“Sounds amazing, wish we could be there,” Harry drawled on.

The car slowed, and Niall looked out the window to see the arena already.

“Yeah, same.”

“Too bad we couldn’t just secretly catch a flight along with Liam to surprise you or anything,” Harry said, giggling as soon as he’d finished speaking.

“Wait, what?” Niall asked, his heart pounding in excitement. “No, you didn’t.”

Niall sat up straight in the car and started searching out the windows to see if he could see his friends.

“We did!” Harry practically squealed into the phone. “We’re in your green room. Get your arse in here and give us a fucking hug!”

“Oh my God,” Niall yelled into the phone before hanging up. He bounced his legs as he waited for the car to pull up to the back entrance before pointing at John. “You knew about this, didn’t you.”

“Knew about what?” John’s smile gave him away.

“You did, you knew.” Niall shook his head and launched himself at the burly man. “Fucking love you guys.”

“Wasn’t sure I was pleased to have been a part of it with the way you were acting earlier,” John said, arching his brow. “I am happy to see it helped you finally cheer up, though.”

Niall patted John on the arm before throwing himself at the door before the car was even at a complete stop. He went running towards Margaret, who was waiting for him at the door with a smile on her face.

“Hi, Mags,” Niall called as he jogged in and found his way to his dressing room. 

As soon as he opened the door he heard yelling and cheering coming from his three best mates.

“Wait, who’s missing?” he asked, pausing to see that Zayn wasn’t there. 

“Zee had an event with work, so he couldn’t come,” Liam said before wrapping him in a big hug. “Wishes he could be here, though. Sent along a special gift in the form of making sure I paid for your first few rounds during the celebration and said he’d make it up to you at Christmas.”

Niall laughed and rocked with Liam while he excitedly pounded on his back. “Sounds good, sounds good. I can’t believe you guys flew over here for me.”

“Of course we did! Never miss a birthday if we can,” Louis said, smile wide. “Now, tell us all about how tour’s been going.”

Niall sighed and collapsed onto a couch that was definitely meant for two, but all four of them gathered together until they fit.

This was exactly what he needed to get his mood back up again.

*~~***~~*

“We’re at a club in the middle of America to celebrate your birthday with alcohol and dancing, and you’re sitting here pouting?” Louis yelled over the deep bass as he slid into the booth.

Liam had expressed concern over their getting served since the drinking age in America was 21, but he’d quickly learned that certain rules didn’t necessarily apply when you were in the VIP section of specific clubs and had a name that was as recognisable as Niall Horan. The beer and spirits had flowed as soon as they got there, and everyone was ready to have a good time, but as the night went on, Niall found himself more and more inclined to just sit in the booth and wish Rory was there.

He’d been doing that more and more often, actually. He’d started to recognise the hint of infatuation and the start of a crush awhile ago, but had tried to fight it. He wanted to put all of his time and energy towards his soulmate, and without knowing who they were it was difficult. He couldn’t help but be attracted to some people, though, and Rory was absolutely the person he felt the strongest pull towards. Maybe ever. 

Which made his last minute bail for Niall’s birthday even worse.

“Okay, seriously, what’s going on?” Louis asked, gently kicking Niall’s shoe.

“Sorry,” Niall said, shaking his head and trying to clear it. He’d been so stuck in his thoughts of Rory that he hadn’t replied to Louis’ first question. “I just… it’s stupid.”

“It’s your birthday, nothing’s stupid,” Louis said before grabbing Niall’s Guinness and taking a swig. “Ugh, I forget how much I hate that shit until I drink it again.” Louis coughed a little and fake gagged as he pushed it back over to Niall. 

“Maybe you should get your own, then,” Niall teased.

Louis rolled his eyes. “I’ve had enough. Gotta take care of my boy, who’s on possibly his eighteenth Mai Tai,” Louis said with a chuckle. “For real, though. It might be stupid, whatever is bothering you, but it’s your birthday so the least I can do is pretend it isn’t. And even if it is, it’s keeping you from enjoying your birthday, so let’s talk it out and then get you out on the dance floor with us.”

Niall whined before dropping his head into his arms. “IjustreallywishRorywashere,” he spit out as fast as he could right into the tabletop.

“Uh, I’m sorry, I think you said something, but the table isn’t offering translations at this time,” Louis quipped.

Sighing, Niall pulled his head up enough to lean his chin on his arms, still hunched over as much as possible. “I said I just really wish Rory was here.”

“Awww,” Louis cooed, looking soft as he tilted his head and took in Niall. “I didn’t realise you were that into him. That’s really sweet, actually. But you never did say why he cancelled, just that he did. What excuse did he give? Did he have to be somewhere else for work?”

“No? I don’t know,” Niall huffed. Sitting up and folding his arms over his chest, he did his best to try to hold himself together as he talked it out. “He didn’t actually say why, just that he couldn’t make it after all. The worst part is, I’d confirmed with him ages ago that he didn’t have a tournament or anything scheduled that would keep him from coming, and he  _ still _ didn’t come.”

Louis squished up his face a little. “That’s bollocks. I’m sorry.”

Niall shrugged a little. “It’s alright. I mean, it’s not, but you know what I mean.”

Louis nodded, and they both sat in silence for a moment.

“You know what we’re going to do?” Louis asked, sounding more serious than he had all night. “We’re gonna tell John and the rest of your security people to keep close eyes on us, cause we’re going all in. You and me are gonna do some shots, tequila? Yeah? And then I’m going to make sure you have the time of your life dancing out there, okay?”

Niall chuckled a little. “Are we? Cause I don’t really feel like dancing, if I’m honest.”

Louis slammed his hand on the table. “Too bad. We flew all this way to celebrate and you’re not going to sit here like a knobhead while the rest of us have fun. Come on, let’s go.”

Soon enough, Niall felt the warmth running through his veins of the shots Louis had forced into him and he was in the middle of the dance floor. Liam and Harry were somewhere else, he couldn’t see them, but Louis was being ridiculous and leading Niall in something that resembled a ballroom dance.

“The fuck?” Niall yelled, laughing as Louis twirled him out, his hand gentle on the small of his back to bring him back in so he could hold him. 

He was having fun, even if he was confused, so he opened the connection to his soulmate and sent a little glimpse of the fun he was having for his birthday. He made sure that his soulmate knew he was nineteen now, so only two more years until they’d be able to fully connect and have their bond strengthened. He couldn’t wait.

Niall was pulled back out from his thoughts before he could close the connection, though, and he couldn’t help but laugh as Louis guided him so gently with his arm so gently guiding him as he cradled Niall’s lower back and then he twirled him again so they were facing each other.

“This is to loosen you up before we get down and dirty,” Louis said, leaning forward so their faces were nearly touching as he waggled his eyebrows.

Niall about lost it, he was laughing so hard, but he did his best to follow and do as Louis was trying to lead him to do, and then he made sure to close the connection. He didn’t need to send these visuals to his soulmate.

Speaking of soulmates, Niall checked to see if Harry was nearby.

“What’s your soulmate going to say about this? I know how jealous the fucker is,” Niall asked, genuinely concerned for his well-being if Harry didn’t know and approve of Louis’ plans.

“Oh, he  _ is _ a jealous man, but he also thinks it’s pretty damn hot when I dance with other people, so it’ll probably just set me up for a really great night of fucking. It’ll be fine.”

“Oh my God,” Niall groaned, dropping his head onto Louis’ shoulder. “I really,  _ really _ didn’t need to know that.”

Louis laughed and then the beat changed.

“Fuck, yes,” Louis cheered before wrapping his arms around Niall’s neck. “You ready, love?”

Niall wasn’t sure he was ready, actually. He’d never been able to go clubbing with Louis before, but he knew how the man moved. Niall might not survive the night.

“Too late, we’re dancing. Just follow my lead.” Louis gave Niall a wink and then spun around and dropped his torso so it was level with the floor and began to shimmy a bit and sway his hips to the beat, grinding on Niall the entire time. He couldn’t help but grab ahold of his waist, he was a bit concerned Louis might lose his balance in the crowd. He wasn’t sure how he even found the space to lean forward as he was.

Louis slowly made his way up, and Niall was in no way attracted to Louis, but it was fucking hot.

“Come on, pretend I’m Rory,” Louis teased as he leaned into Niall. “Let loose, and have some fun. Yeah?”

Niall took a deep breath and nodded, finally giving in to the alcohol that was loosening his body. 

“Yeah, alright.”

*~~***~~*

Niall woke up with heartburn, a disgusting taste in his mouth, and the incredibly strong need to have a wee. As soon as he moved, he felt his head pound. God, tequila was one of the only drinks to really fully make him hungover and he felt like shit. 

At least he had Harry and Louis here. They loved to mother their friends, but they were probably just as bad off as he was.

He stumbled to the bathroom and was so glad he had the day off, not even any travel planned. He didn’t want to leave his room. Maybe not even his bed.

Once he’d relieved himself and brushed his teeth, deciding he’d shower later after he’d eaten something, he went back to the bed and flopped down. How was it possible to sleep for—Niall checked the clock and saw it was two in the afternoon, what the fuck—something like ten hours and still feel so tired?

Niall threw his arm out and began feeling around for his phone. He needed to find out where the lads were and see if he could convince any of them to bring him a bottle of water. He  _ was _ the birthday boy, after all. Or he had been yesterday.

He got distracted as soon as he saw his phone, though.

He had a few texts from the lads in the band who didn’t join him last night and other people he didn’t really care about, but there were a  _ lot _ of messages in his group chat with Harry, Louis, Liam, and Zayn.

He also had two texts from Rory.

Opening those first, Niall couldn’t help but get confused. His messages didn’t even make sense.

_ Rory: Looks like you had a good time last night.  _ _  
_ _ Rory: Sorry I didn’t make it, but you didn’t need to make it like that, did you? _

“The fuck does that mean?” Niall muttered to himself. 

Leaving Rory on read, because honestly he didn’t even have a clue where to start with his messages, Niall decided to go to the group chat next.

Most of it was laughing and links to various Twitter and Instagram posts. And Harry repeatedly telling Louis he was famous by association now.

“I’m too hung over for this shit,” Niall muttered, scrubbing at his eyes and finally deciding he needed his glasses. He was tired of squinting at the screen. It was making his headache worse, if that was possible.

Once he found his glasses, Niall went back and finally clicked on the links.

Every single one were videos of Niall and Louis dancing. If one could even call it dancing. It was definitely grinding and incredibly filthy while sometimes having the semblance of a beat, viewed from any number of angles and all with hundreds of thousands of views and notes.

That… explained a lot, actually.

Niall went back to the chat and decided to ignore all their chatter. At least it was proof the bastards were awake. One of them could bring him water while he figured out food.

Room service. Yes. He wasn’t leaving his room.

_ Niall: fuckers get over to my room and bring me water. I’ll order food if you haven’t eaten without me. Feel like shit _

While the lads replied, Niall went back to his texting thread with Rory and tried to figure out how to respond.

He sounded jealous. Niall knew that Rory hadn’t found his soulmate yet, but he always kept so quiet about it that Niall knew literally nothing else about his situation. He wasn’t even sure if Rory was the older soulmate or the younger one. Every time that Niall had tried to bring up Rory’s soulmate, he changed the topic abruptly. 

It wasn’t even soulmate chatter in general that he minded, because he’d allow Niall to go on for hours about his soulmate and his hopes for him. It was only when asked about his own. He also seemed the type to follow the rules, though, which made sense. Rory could be impulsive when his temper took hold, but otherwise he really did the best he could to follow the guidelines put up no matter the situation.

If that were the case, though, why would he have any need to be jealous of videos of Niall having fun at his birthday party going viral? It could have been Rory in the videos instead of Louis if he hadn’t bailed.

Niall snorted to himself. It never would have come to that if Rory had come. Niall would have happily got drunk off his arse whilst sitting with Rory in the booth, talking about whatever came to mind. Or beating Rory easily at pool and darts. Maybe even convincing him to join in a FIFA tournament or something as he broke his diet for the special occasion. All he knew was that the likelihood of getting Rory to dance with him, much less in the way he’d been dancing with Louis, at a club was next to none.

Which again made him question why?

_ Niall: The fuck’re you on about, mate? _

Niall hit send and rolled his eyes. Might as well be straightforward. He quickly started texting more, though. Now that he’d sent the first message he couldn’t help but keep talking.

_ Niall: If I didn’t know better, I’d think you sound jealous _ _  
_ _ Niall: And I know that can’t be right, because you’re Rory McIlroy and you don’t dance _

Rory started typing back, and Niall was both pleased and upset at the same time. Whatever had kept him from coming and joining him in Chicago clearly wasn’t keeping him from talking to Niall right now. 

Niall sighed to himself while WhatsApp showed Rory typing and then stopping repeatedly. It didn’t even make sense for Niall to be upset in the first place. There were plenty of things that could have stopped Rory from coming, but that didn’t mean he had to be busy the entire few days he would have been here. 

_ Rory: If you could even call that dancing _

_ Niall: Oh my god  _ _  
_ _ Niall: Is that really what you spent all your time typing? Just to send what? A daft jab over me and a mate having a good time at a club that just happened to blow up? _

Niall was well and truly on his way to being absolutely pissed off. He already felt right awful thanks to his drinking decisions the night before that were exacerbated by Rory’s absence, and then he felt the right to get upset with Niall over it? 

_ Rory: Friends don’t dance with each other like that _

“Fucking hell,” Niall growled before standing up and immediately regretting it when his head started pounding even worse. 

Whining and falling back down onto the bed, he grabbed his phone where he’d dropped it in his frustration a moment ago and finally decided to just send him a voice message so Rory could hear exactly how mad he was.

“Now listen here, you fucker,” Niall started, shifting to the side so his head was on the cool pillow he hadn’t used the night before. “Friends obviously  _ do _ dance like that with each other because that’s all me and Louis are. Louis is happy with his own soulmate, who was also there last night. They were trying to cheer me up since you decided to leave me hanging last minute like a fucking bellend, alright?” 

Niall paused as he shook his head and tried to quell the anger that was just growing within him the more he spoke. This message was going to be a couple of minutes and Rory would just have to deal with it.

“Now, don’t go and get yourself all high and mighty over being forced to see me having a good time celebrating, especially when you should have been there too. You can fuck right off with that attitude, because you’re on my shit list right now for about seventeen different reasons. Unless you’re grovelling or starting the process of apologising for your behaviour the past few days, I honestly don’t want to hear from you for a while. Alright? Fuck.”

Niall sent the message without thinking twice and then locked his phone and plugged it in. It was nearly dead and he was honestly lucky it hadn’t shut off yet. Just as he did, there was an entire host of banging on his hotel door.

“For fuck’s sake,” Niall moaned before yelling, “I hate all of you. Stop with the knocking!!” He gripped his head with both hands and hoped that they had read between the lines and brought him a paracetamol as well. 

Niall opened the door and glared at them. 

“You cannot pass unless you’ve brought what I requested.”

“Fucking pop stars,” Harry said, rolling his eyes even as he smiled widely. “Here you go, Princess. Your water and some fancy American pain killers. The front desk promised they won’t kill you.”

Niall snorted and accepted the packets and water before standing aside for them to join him in his room.

“You reek, mate,” Liam said, squishing up his nose. “Did you just wake up?”

“I’m not jet lagged like you lot, am I?” Niall argued, before immediately backing up because that wasn’t entirely true. He kind of lived in a perpetual state of jetlag. “I mean, I am. My body never has a clue what time it is where I am, but it knows to rest when I let it do so.”

“It’s okay, love. Just get in the shower and we’ll order us food while you clean up,” Louis said, pushing him to the bathroom. 

Niall was happy enough to follow his instructions before Louis left him with one last thought as he closed the door.

“Then you can tell us why your precious Rory is so angry today.”

He really didn’t have the energy to fight Louis about the shower, so he jumped in and let the warm water relax him as the medicine worked its magic. 

The frustrating part was that even with everything that had happened so far, he couldn’t get his mind off of Rory. At first he was curious how his friends could possibly know that he and Rory were in the middle of a tiff, but he got past that curiosity soon enough. Just thinking about how Rory had acted was getting him worked up again and he’d only just started being able to relax. As ridiculous as Rory was being, Niall wanted to put him to the side, but he couldn’t. 

Sighing, he leaned his head against the shower wall and let the water run over him. Blocking out thoughts of Rory, he instead thought of his soulmate and sent a quick little vibe out to him, trying to show how tired and frustrated he was but also the hope that his soulmate was well.

It was funny, but sometimes with the connection he felt like he and Rory had so soon after meeting, he’d occasionally wondered what it might be like if Rory was his soulmate. What their life might be like, if that was how it was meant to go. It was really lovely.

And then there were days like today where Niall was fairly certain that Rory was  _ not _ his soulmate and he was grateful. Whoever got that knobhead was going to have their work cut out for them.

Niall finally stood up and started washing. It was days like this that he got so frustrated with the rules that surrounded soulmates in their society. The rigidity that everyone seemed to cling to them. He knew they were created for safety and consent reasons, but he really didn’t want to have to wait. Life was hard on the road and his friends and family did what they could to help as well as the guys he toured with, but a soulmate that he could actually talk to regularly? Have that extra connection with whenever he needed the emotional support? It would be really helpful sometimes.

As Niall finished up, he realised they’d pushed him in without any clothes, so he dried off and wrapped himself in a towel, also throwing on the fluffy hotel robe he usually left alone. He really did feel better and was sure that getting some food in his stomach would only help.

“Have you ever considered that Rory might be your soulmate?” Harry asked as soon as Niall opened the bathroom door.

Niall chuckled a little considering his thoughts during the shower. Apparently Harry wasn’t supposed to have given away their topic of conversation, though, because Louis threw a crisp at him causing Liam to chide them and Harry to whine about being mistreated.

“I mean, yeah,” Niall admitted even as he picked up the chips someone had ordered. They sounded perfect. Tossing one into his mouth he shrugged and kept talking. “There was such an instant connection there, I think I’d be mad to not have at least considered it, but I don’t know if I think he really is. I mean, how do you  _ know _ if someone is your soulmate?”

Harry opened his mouth to talk just as Liam rolled his eyes and cut in before he could start. 

“You two don’t count. You didn’t follow like, any of the rules.”

Louis squawked. “So? We’re the only ones in this room that for sure have met their soulmates, so who else is going to give you insight, hmm?”

“Fair point, but I still don’t think your experience is one that most can identify with,” Liam said with a shrug.

“Nialler is a world famous pop star,” Harry said, face and voice deadpan. “I’m not sure we’re looking for examples that most can identify with. Especially if his soulmate really is Rory, one of the top golfers in the world.”

Liam took a big bite of a burger and mumbled, “Whatever,” through his mouthful.

“I’m just saying that at the very least, Mr. McIlroy definitely has a crush on our dear Irishman,” Louis said before primly taking a bite of chocolate cake despite the open bag of crisps sitting in his lap.

“What? Why do you say that?” Niall asked, pausing in stuffing his face with chips.

“Didn’t you see his tweet?” Harry asked, brows furrowed. “He hasn’t responded to any of the questions, but considering the timing I thought it was pretty obviously about you, though apparently it was deleted finally about half an hour ago or something.”

“What’d it say?” Niall asked, everything else forgotten.

“It was just him going off about how people make bad decisions under the influence of alcohol, especially when in strange cities they aren’t very familiar with,” Louis teased, smiling. “Most of the golfing world thought he had witnessed something since he’s currently in Spain, but he tweeted it first thing in the morning over there when the video of the two of us was really getting going.”

“And now it’s down?” Niall asked, even more confused about Rory’s behaviour if he was going off about this publicly. “If it was just about some tourists he ran into, why would it be deleted? Especially after being up for so long?”

“That’s the question,” Harry said, eyes twinkling as he shared everything he’d learned about the drama. He really did love gossip more than almost anyone else Niall had ever met. “But he tweeted again after deleting his original one.”

Niall immediately scrambled to get his phone where it was charging. He didn’t have any messages from Rory, but he’d listened to the message, so Niall felt smug that he was doing as requested.

Once he’d exited the app, he pulled up Twitter and went to Rory’s profile where the new tweet sat at the top of his profile.

_ @RoryMcIlroy: We all have our weaknesses. Still working on mine. Please have patience with me. _

“What a cryptic bastard,” Niall said before glancing at the time stamp. It was posted ten minutes after he’d sent his voice message.

Well. Maybe those tweets really were both about or to Niall. If so, he apparently felt bad about his reaction, which was good to know. Rory was someone that had slipped into his inner circle faster and easier than he’d thought anyone could and he didn’t like to think that he’d started thinking of Rory as his best friend if he ended up being a total twat.

“At least he might actually mean whatever apology is going to be coming later,” Niall said with a sigh before heading back to the food.

“Apology for what? Lashing out vaguely on Twitter?” Liam asked, wiping his hands on a paper napkin and then tossing it perfectly into a bin across the room.

“Nice,” Niall said, impressed. “Nah, I forgot I hadn’t told you yet, but he and I had a bit of a fight this morning. I woke up to some texts that sounded kind of jealous, actually.”

“Reallyyyyyy,” Louis asked, eyebrows raised. “Well, are you going to show us or what?”

Niall grabbed his phone again, unplugging it this time, and opened their thread before handing it over.

“Fucking hell, did you spend almost three minutes telling him where he could put his fucking possessive behaviour?” Harry asked gleefully after reading the messages over Louis’ shoulder. “Please tell me you did. I can’t believe you’re such good friends with him and can talk to him like this. Like, I can, but it’s Rory fucking McIlroy.”

Sighing, Niall was about to answer in the affirmative when his own scratchy and angry voice was heard.

“My finger slipped,” Liam said innocently as he set the phone down, Niall’s voice message still playing on speaker.

Listening to his words again, Niall felt kind of embarrassed about them, but also pretty good about how he’d stood up to Rory. They’d only known each other since spring and even if they were soulmates and had the heightened connection already, that was no way to behave just from some videos of him dirty dancing with one of his good mates on his birthday.

“Oh, what an ending,” Louis cheered, laughing. “Well, looks like he got the message then. He’ll be sending flowers every day for weeks at that rate.”

Niall blushed. “No he won’t. It’s not like he’s trying to woo me. We’re just friends and he’s got to make up for being an arse.”

“Sure, whatever you say.” Louis smirked. “I think you’ll be surprised how big he goes with his apologies.”

Niall sighed. He hoped so, but he wasn’t sure his hopes really were that high. He’d basically told him to fuck off and while the tweet made it look like he was going to apologise, Niall knew the next several weeks for Rory were some of the most intense this season. Especially since he’d been struggling the past couple of months to stay on top of his game. It hadn’t caused him to drop much in the standings, most thought it was a rough patch like everyone has, but Niall was concerned because he knew Rory was stressed over it. His focus needed to be on golf right now, which was probably why he was in Spain instead of Chicago in the first place.

“We’ll see,” Niall said.

They were quiet for the rest of the meal, and while he knew it wouldn’t, he still waited for his phone to ring so Rory could start his apologies.

It never did.

*~~***~~*

Niall sat in the makeup chair for his fourth interview that day and wondered about his life. How exactly was it that promo season was somehow even more busy than touring at the same time as writing, recording, and producing an album? It seemed impossible, and yet the past two weeks were the proof needed to show him that it not only was possible, but was his new reality.

He didn’t entirely mind promoting his album. He was an entertainer, after all. A performer. He liked having attention on himself and talking about his music and life. But at the same time, it was hard to always have to put on the mask of his media training, especially when there were seven interviews in various locations packed into a fourteen hour window, plus phone interviews in between.

He was fine, everything would be fine. All of the exhaustion and fake smiles would be worth it when he (hopefully) sold out another world tour and would be able to get back on stage in front of his fans.

“Niall? There’s a delivery for you.”

Niall opened his eyes and looked at Molly, his makeup artist who rolled her eyes at him and motioned for him to move. Giving her a wink and blowing a kiss, he quickly turned to see Emily, a member of his PR team, coming towards him with a box.

Furrowing his brows, he glanced between the box and Emily’s face a few times until she stopped right in front of him, holding the box towards him.

“What’s that?”

“I don’t know, it was just delivered for you.”

Niall’s brows shot up in surprise. “For me? At the BBC studios?”

Emily nodded and held it out to him again. “Can you please just take it? It’s a bit heavy, and I want to know what it is before I get back upstairs to talk to Greg about your interview in an hour.”

Warily, Niall took the box from her and found she was right. It was heavier than he anticipated for its size. It was sleek and black, though, with his name written in fancy lettering on a sticker.

“You’ve not met your soulmate without telling any of us, have you?” Emily asked, clearly getting nervous over the possibility. “This looks like something to woo a soulmate, and if you’ve found them and broken rules I’m going to have to put extra restrictions on the questions and—”

“I haven’t met them, you can calm down,” Niall said quickly as he finally got the lid to pull off.

Whatever was contained inside was nestled into a velvet lined cradle and covered with tissue paper. Once he got the paper lifted off, he saw it was a completely clear glass block with a scoring card from this year’s Master’s Tournament somehow floating inside of it.

Eyes wide, Niall leaned forward and realised not only was it the used scoring card for Rory, despite his abysmal rounds, but he’d got signatures of the top golfers in the world right now as well.

“Oh my God, that’s Justin Rose. And Phil Mickelson! Fuck, Tiger Woods… What the hell,” Niall said in wonder.

Blinking, Emily looked at Niall innocently. “I know Tiger Woods. Are those other guys good too?”

Niall’s shoulders sagged in disappointment. “Emily. I need to educate you, it is an absolute failing of mine that you don’t even know the names of some of the most well known golfers out there.”

Shrugging, she turned around. “Yeah, okay. I’ve got to get back up to Greg and keep working.”

Niall shook his head as she walked back out the door and he looked back at the box sitting in his lap.

“Think you can sit still while I touch up your hair so you can look at the gift more?” Molly asked gently.

“Yeah, ‘course.”

He was studying the sheet, looking to see if Rory signed it other than the required signature at the bottom when he’d finished, and it looked like there was something beneath the block other than just tissue paper.

“Stay still,” Molly reminded as she shifted his head back into position.

“Sorry,” he muttered before he finally was able to reach the small blue card.

It was covered in Rory’s chicken scratch.

_ Niall, _

_ Sorry it has taken so long for me to start the process of apologising to you, but I knew this needed to be the first step to show you I was serious about it. I’m sorry I let my temper get the best of me, but I am working to be better.  _

_ In the meantime, I hope you’ll accept this as the first, if overdue, part of the apology process. It took me longer than I expected to track down Jack, but I know how much you admire him so I thought it worth it. _

_ Rory _

“Jack?” Niall mumbled in confusion before turning to the glass. And then he saw it, the signature tucked into the side of the card, overlaying some of the print so Niall didn’t see it at first.

Jack Nicklaus.

“What the fucking shit,” Niall whispered. “Fuck! He... fuck! Jack Nicklaus signed this!”

Molly paused in her digging through the makeup brushes and turned to Niall.

“He signed that block?”

“The scoring card Rory gave me!”

Molly’s eyes widened and she hustled over to look where Niall was pointing. “Holy shit,” she said reverently, her fingers hovering over the signature. She snapped back up quickly and jabbed her finger into his chest. “Niall James Horan, don’t you dare cry on me.”

Niall’s eyes went wide before he realised she was right. He was sniffling and his eyes were watering and he hadn’t even noticed because he was so overwhelmed.

He’d just missed Rory so much. It had been more than a month since he’d heard from him, Rory had taken Niall’s words at face value and not reached out until he had apologised for being a dickhead. Niall hadn’t realised that he’d miss Rory  _ that _ much, though, and he certainly hadn’t expected to feel this overwhelmed when Rory finally said something.

“I’m not crying,” Niall whined, sniffing and dabbing at his eyes again. 

It really did seem ridiculous that he was this emotional over hearing from Rory again. He not only hated that there were witnesses to his breakdown, but he was also a bit frustrated because what did it all mean? He’d fallen into a crush with Rory so quickly after their friendship had started, and he had become so used to Rory being a person he regularly chatted with, he hadn’t even noticed how reliant on him he’d become. He especially didn’t know what it meant regarding his soulmate.

Fuck. Niall felt really awful about how irregularly he had been reaching out to his soulmate. He’d just been so sad and stressed and worried about getting through the insanity he’d been living in that he hadn’t wanted to worry his soulmate with all of that. Especially when so much of the sadness revolved around Rory. Who knew what his soulmate would think of those particular thoughts.

Clearing his throat and sitting up in his chair, Niall asked, “You have time to fix me, right?”

“That will take more work than just resetting your foundation, arsehole,” Molly said angrily, but he could see she was only acting that way as she went into crisis mode. 

“I love you, if it counts for anything,” Niall said with a sniffle before he wiped what was hopefully his last tear away.

“Whatever. Here, blow your nose already so you can be done with it and I’ll get you back to perfect and not at all shiny or blotchy for your One Show interview.”

Niall followed her directions and then let her work her magic and within a couple of minutes he looked like he hadn’t cried at all.

He smacked a quick kiss to her cheek as he was whisked away, but instead of paying attention to his surroundings, he pulled out his phone and scrolled to find the texting thread with Rory. It was further down than he preferred, but that was how shit went sometimes.

_ Niall: Apology accepted. You didn’t need to go that big with the gifts. _

Niall had just locked his phone and was about to pocket it when it vibrated. Checking it, just in case it was Rory, Niall was pleased to see it was.

_ Rory: Sure I did. Good luck on the interviews today. _

Niall took a deep breath and smiled,  _ really _ smiled, for the first time in what felt like ages. It just felt right to have Rory talking to him again. 

The exhaustion and stress were still there, but Niall wouldn’t have to fake the smiles the rest of the day at least.

*~~***~~*

Niall sat in his green room, completely ready for his show and just messing about on his guitar, trying to calm his nerves while his opening act performed. He couldn’t believe he was already touring again when he felt like he’d barely had a break, but here he was. Mid-February and it was already the end of his first week on tour.

He’d had high hopes that between his break in travelling and Rory’s break from major competitions that they’d be able to see more of each other, but he had been disappointed. They’d only been able to meet up twice during the entire time they were both in London. 

Rory had more than made up for being a jealous arsehole and even went so far as to put more effort into their friendship than he had before, but there was still something keeping them from being as close as Niall wanted. They were still closer to each other than anyone else, but… he didn’t know how to describe it. It was almost like there was a wall between them, only he didn’t know what it was or why. It wasn’t awkwardness, not really, more like Rory was holding himself back even while he was putting more effort into their friendship, and none of it made any sense.

Whatever it was hadn’t helped Niall rein his crush in at all, though. It was getting to the point where he was almost starting to hope that his soulmate might be Rory.

Rolling his eyes at himself, Niall tried to focus on his guitar. That particular line of thinking would do him absolutely no good and was only bound to end in disappointment when they learned who their soulmates actually were.

Niall just felt incredibly alone. He’d never really felt that way because he’d always made sure to keep himself surrounded by those closest to him. Or those who he could feel close  _ enough _ to at least. These days, though, he keenly felt the lack of those he wanted to be with so badly and close enough wasn’t what he needed right now. Mostly his soulmate and Rory, but also his other friends. It had only been six weeks, but it felt like forever without much contact from Rory and the others. 

Usually, those who were close enough included his band. A couple of major things had changed with them in the past year that made it harder for them to fill in the lack of connection with those he missed. The last two had found their soulmates last year, and now he was the only one who didn’t have someone to talk to or have that connection with. It was hitting him harder than he ever expected it to.

Niall didn’t like sitting around and moping, though, so he did what he usually did when he was having a rough time. He turned to music.

There had been a melody running through Niall’s head for a while now, but when he’d woken up that morning a few missing pieces of what he thought would be a really pretty verse had filled themselves in. It was a somewhat simple tune, just some basic arpeggios on the guitar with a lilting, soft melody overtop and it felt like that longing and sadness and wanting he was filled with so often these days. 

He hummed along and let his mind wander a little bit about what he could do with the lyrics. He didn’t want it to be just another song about not being able to wait to meet his soulmate. There were plenty of those songs already, some of which were his own. What he needed was a way to capture the weird limbo he was currently in. The space where he just longed for his soulmate, but needed the patience to wait just another year and a half more.

“Why can’t it happen when you want it to instead of when it’s supposedly meant to,” Niall wondered to himself as he fell back into the couch cushions. He was being ridiculous. Maybe the song should be about how he could use more patience in his life because at this point he wasn’t sure he had any. He might not even recognise patience if it smacked him in the face, it had been that long since he’d had to make use of it. 

He paused his plucking of the strings and considered the idea.

Niall went back to humming a little, seeing how different things could work with the rhythm and found that making it as if he was actually addressing the feeling of patience and personifying the emotion it just might work. It wouldn’t just be about patience, it would be a song sung  _ to _ patience. 

Setting his guitar to the side, Niall rushed over to the counter where there was a pile of papers and some pens. He quickly wrote two words on the blank back of the paper and looked at them.

_ Dear Patience _

He underlined it a few times and then walked back to the couch, staring at the paper. He liked it. It was a solid idea.

What would he say if he could actually speak to patience? If patience was a person, he would wine and dine them. At this point he felt like he not only didn’t have patience, but he didn’t even remember what it felt like. If patience had a body of some sort, then taking them out for a drink seemed the polite place to start considering their obvious lack of familiarity. 

Picking the guitar back up, Niall sang “Dear Patience” in the first part of the melody, and then tried a few different iterations of the line about taking them out for a bite to eat.

Biting his lip, he started thinking of other things he would like to do or say to patience, if he could. 

Well, in order to explain why he even needed more patience, he’d have to be vulnerable. He would never be vulnerable in the way that conversation would require without alcohol.

_ Can we share a drink and let go of the pressure? _

Niall’s heart started to race with how perfect the words fit the melody he’d already come up with.

He repeated “Dear Patience” again, and then just started singing random lines. 

_ ‘Cause the last time that we talked seems like forever, and ever... _

_ Feels like you don’t even know me… _

_ Hey, can you show your face? _

_ If I pour my heart out, can you keep a promise? _

_ ….feels like a mountain that’s been weighing on my conscience, if I’m being honest… _

_ I hope that I find you, my dear… _

_ Can you see that I’m anxious? _

In less than twenty minutes he had a fair handful of lines on the paper he liked and was going to hold onto. He didn’t have much of anything for the chorus yet, but he thought he had a decent start on a verse or two and the bridge. 

He’d have to come back to it later, but it was the most excited he’d been over a song he had written in a long while. It was definitely the most of himself he’d put into a song, possibly ever. He tucked his things away as he went to get his mic and the first guitar he used on stage.

He had a blast singing that night and the crowd was incredible, but he couldn’t wait to keep writing and get the idea of needing to get to know patience more, asking them to bestow him with some of their gift so he could tamp down some of his anxiety and longing.

It was incredibly personal to him and he wasn’t sure he’d ever actually want to perform it in front of anyone, but it was the song he needed right now, and that was what meant the most to him. 

He had a rough recording in a voice note on his phone before he went to bed that night, and he fell asleep listening to it on repeat. 

*~~***~~*

It was less than a month into Niall’s North American leg, and he was afraid he had reached his breaking point.

New dates had been added to all of his remaining legs of the tour due to demand, and he regularly had to perform three or four nights in a row. The success of his album was still growing at such a rate that his team went so far as to add a second European leg. Hopefully it would give his newer fans another chance to see him in the countries he had already visited to see him, and they sold out in record time. He was stunned and pleased to see the support, but he was also feeling the pressure. 

Any time he wasn’t performing was used to film music videos, do interviews, or work with songwriters so they could move along with the writing and recording for yet another album. Another album that was expected to perform just as well as the current one, if not better.

Niall had thought he was tired last year, but it was nothing compared to how he felt now. He had made a name for himself, which was great. It meant all of his hard work was paying off. It also meant he felt the weight of the ever building expectations coming from all sides. 

It was almost like it was crushing him. 

It had reached a point that Niall felt like he was on the verge of falling apart on a daily basis, and nothing was helping. He knew he needed to talk to someone about it, but he also felt like he couldn’t. What he really wanted was someone who understood at least a small part of what he was going through, but no one he was close to could. Most would probably think he had got a big head or was incredibly spoiled if he went to them whining about how hard his incredible life was. 

And it really was incredible. He knew he was blessed. He knew he was lucky. But he also knew he was being pushed to his limits in almost every way and he had next to no emotional support in the struggle to continue on.

The worry that his friends or family would think he’d become someone he wasn’t was so big it kept him from reaching out to anyone, so he knew it was his own fault. But then that knowledge made him feel like an absolute dickhead for having as hard a time as he was. 

When it came down to it, he knew that if he knocked on any of the doors that were reserved for the tour, pretty much any of them would be more than willing to invite him in. They’d done it in the past when he had smaller issues. He knew they would listen to him complain and most would even get him some tea to help calm him as he released all his pent up nerves and fear and frustrations. 

The problem was he knew they were all working incredibly hard and ridiculous hours as well. He wasn’t the only one feeling the pressure of it all. Knowing that they were also working around the clock as well and doing as much as they were for him just amplified the feeling that it wasn’t his place to put any additional pressure on them with his own concerns. 

So he did what he did every night he was lucky enough to be in a hotel and he curled up on the bed, texting Rory. There was always the chance he might be able to talk wherever he was currently located. Most nights, while he waited, Niall scanned the golf channels in the hope of being able to catch at least a few moments of the sport and man he loved.

Fuck. Just the sport he loved. Not the man he loved. He didn’t love Rory. He just admired him. Enjoyed his company. Wished they were able to talk more than they were. Thought his freckles were adorable and maybe wanted to kiss every single one of them.

Pushing that thought to the side, Niall went back to thinking about Rory. Actually talking on the phone was a rarity for them this year. As if Niall’s schedule didn’t already make things hard enough, Rory was out there taking over the golf world. He had made some training adjustments during the break, which were part of the reason that Niall hadn’t been able to see him more than twice during their shared time in London, and those adjustments had been exactly what Rory needed to improve his game.

Every time Niall caught the stats for a golf tournament or was able to watch any sort of sport news, Rory was always part of the conversation and he was quickly jumping higher in the world rankings as his meteoric rise to the top continued to gain speed. It made Niall so proud to know his friend was out there showing everyone exactly how good he was.

Tonight, though, hearing about Rory wasn’t going to be enough. Niall was spiralling and he needed Rory to pull him out of it. He didn’t bother turning on the TV, he just decided to text and hope he got a quick response that could possibly result in a phone call.

_ Niall: Hey, you there? _ _  
_ _ Niall: I’m not even sure where you are right now, but I’m guessing you’re in California for the next tournament already _ _  
_ _ Niall: Still out there showing everyone how the game of golf is meant to be played, eh? _

Niall hugged himself and laid on his bed, waiting to hear back. 

Whining to Rory wasn’t exactly what he wanted. Niall didn’t want to dump it all out on him when he knew how much Rory himself was dealing with. Rory was experiencing a higher demand in his career in much the same way Niall was in his. If Niall was overwhelmed with his situation, it was incredibly likely that Rory was as well. 

If he and Rory actually had a decent amount of time to talk, then maybe he would tell him all about what was going on. Especially if Rory had the time and energy for a phone call. With their situations being so similar, he felt like Rory could understand the anxiety and frustration and exhaustion he was feeling if anyone could, and maybe it would help Rory feel better knowing he wasn’t the only one feeling that way as well.

_ Rory: Yeah, in California already _ _  
_ _ Rory: Trying to show them why they shouldn’t doubt the Irish, haha! _ _  
_ _ Rory: In reality, just had to shoot some adverts before the tournament for some new sponsorships, so been fucking insane trying to even make time for my regular training _ _  
_ _ Rory: How about you? Our schedules haven’t been matching up much, so I feel like we haven’t had a proper talk in years _

Relief flooded Niall, but the tears started up as he read the messages too. He  _ really _ hoped that Rory asking after him meant that he had time for a phone conversation. 

_ Niall: Yeah, we’ve both been fucking busy _ _  
_ _ Niall: Have time for a phone call? _

Niall hadn’t even been able to set his phone down before Rory’s happy eyes, freckled face, and his stupidly large yet incredibly cute ears were taking up his screen. He smiled through the tears when he saw that Rory wasn’t only calling, but was using FaceTime.

Quickly accepting, Niall wiped at his eyes with his t-shirt and hoped that the dim light in his room would cover up the rest of the physical signs that he’d been crying.

“Hey, lad! Hope you don’t mind FaceTime. I missed your damn face. It’s been…” Rory’s voice drifted off and the smile fell from his face. 

Niall rubbed his eyes again, but even through the motion he could tell Rory was leaning in closer to his phone in an attempt to see him better. Unfortunately the single light he had on in the hall by the bathroom was enough to show the tracks the tears had made on his cheeks if nothing else. 

“Fuck. What’s wrong?”

Niall’s eyes started welling with tears again as soon as Rory asked that, and he did his best with trying to breathe in deeply to keep them at bay. If he let go like he really wanted to right now, he was afraid he’d fall into a full blown anxiety attack, and that was not how he wanted this phone call to go.

Finally getting himself under control enough to choke out some words, Niall said, “Been better.”

Rory sat down on a couch, obviously in his own generically decorated hotel room on the other side of the continent.

“Yeah, I can see that. What’s going on?”

Niall took a few breaths to once again try to steady himself even as he swiped at his eyes once more. 

“Just feeling a bit lonely,” Niall said, trying to smile so he maybe wouldn't feel so pathetic. 

He coughed a bit and tried to figure out what to say so Rory would know it wasn’t his fault at all that Niall felt this way. He was the type to think that if Niall was complaining about feeling lonely, he probably did something wrong. 

“I’m just so fucking tired.” Niall scrubbed his face, and he could feel the words starting to flow out of him, coming faster and faster as he continued talking. He couldn’t stop once he started, his words tumbling out of him without restraint and, after talking for what felt like hours but was probably more like five or ten minutes, he sighed and finished simply but honestly. “I just don’t know how much longer I can do all of this without falling apart. I feel so fucking alone.”

Rory’s gaze was filled with such concern that it helped Niall feel a bit soothed because at least it wasn’t judgement or annoyance, but also made it that much worse because Rory wasn’t physically with him. He’d not had a chance to really rely on Rory during a difficult time yet, but he somehow just knew that Rory’s touch would be able to reduce his fears to nothing. 

“I’m so sorry that—” 

Loud knocking interrupted Rory, and Niall watched as his head turned towards the door. “Sorry, if they’re knocking at this hour, it’s important. Let me just check on that and I’ll be right back, alright?”

Niall nodded and soon his view was of the boring, white ceiling as he listened to whispers and Rory sounding a little angry even as he obviously tried to keep his voice down.

He didn’t hear the door close again before the phone was clearly picked up and Rory’s face was on screen again. He wasn’t sitting down on the couch like he was before, though, and he was rubbing his forehead with a look of sheer frustration on his face.

“Hey, I’m so sorry, I really wish this wasn’t happening right now, but I don’t have any control. There’s a bit of an emergency and—”

“It’s fine,” Niall said, flashing as bright a smile as he could manage. It wasn’t quite as good as his usual, but he was good enough at faking by now that he knew it wasn’t horrible. “You go and take care of it. I know that sometimes things happen we have no control over. I’m not the only one wanting your attention.”

Rory snorted, but Niall also saw the blush rising on his cheeks.

“I really am sorry though,” he said quietly. “I’ve got an off day tomorrow, just walking the course before the first round on Wednesday. If you’ve got a free moment, call me, and I’ll do what I can to fit in an actual chat with you, alright?”

Niall nodded, tears starting to flow again. “Thanks,” he whispered.

“Course. I just wish...” Rory pursed his lips and looked at whoever was clearly still in the room with him. Clearing his throat, Rory looked back into the phone. “Good night, Ni. I’m really sorry things are so bad for you right now, but you aren’t alone. I promise.”

Niall nodded and tried to smile. It was nice hearing him say it, but it didn’t help that he felt alone still. 

“Night, Rory.” 

As soon as Rory’s face disappeared from his screen, Niall curled into a ball and allowed himself to fully give in to the tears he’d been fighting. He was shaking from crying so hard and felt cold all over, so he crawled under the duvet and tried to warm himself up.

The only thing he could think to do when he felt this poorly, this overwhelmed and anxious, was reaching out to his soulmate.

Niall opened the connection to his soulmate and immediately started flooding it with his desperation. 

“Please,” he begged, even saying the words out loud. “Let me know that you hear me. Let me know you’re there and that you love me. I feel so alone and so tired and scared and I just… I really need you right now. Just something small is enough, but please. Please let me know that you’re there and I swear. I swear that it will be enough.”

He had barely finished filling the connection with all he wanted to convey before his entire body felt like it was filled with a warmth unlike anything he’d felt before. It was like he had been wrapped and penetrated to his very core with the feelings of comfort, love, caring, and concern. He had never experienced anything as soothing as the touch of his soulmate in that very moment. Niall was still crying, but for the first time in weeks his tears were ones of relief. 

“Thank you,” he whispered.

It was so much more than he expected, more than he felt he deserved, but it was everything he so achingly needed.

As he fell asleep, already the best sleep he’d experienced since leaving for tour, his thoughts dwelled on his soulmate. He couldn’t explain it and it didn’t make any sense. It was only the second time he could remember his soulmate using their connection, and yet the touch felt intensely familiar.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I hope you'll continue the story in Part 2 :D
> 
> If you've liked the story so far, I would greatly appreciate kudos, a nice comment, and possibly even [a nice little reblog of the fic post](https://lululawrence.tumblr.com/post/631970206672109569/just-me-and-the-stars-can-get-lonely).


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